Top 5: Attack of the Novelty Hits

Twenty-six years ago this week, I was settling into my first full-time radio job. I’d been the afternoon guy on KDTH in Dubuque, Iowa, for about six weeks. The more successful station in our building, however, was D93, a 100,000-watt Top 40 powerhouse that had run up staggering audience numbers over the past several years. Its days of dominance were nearly over, though—the company across town was about to flip its elevator-music FM to Top 40, and they would do it better than D93 did. But in the late winter of 1982, if I’m recalling correctly, that hadn’t happened yet. From Cash Box, here are five records that were rockin’ the Tri-States (as we would have said back then) this week in 1982.

2. “Centerfold”/J. Geils Band (down from 1). A theme begins to assert itself already—the popularity of novelty songs in the spring of 1982. This isn’t really a novelty song, although its “homeroom angel in a girly magazine” theme is close enough. “Centerfold” is a long way from early J. Geils classics like “Whammer Jammer” and “Detroit Breakdown,” which may account for why the band barely outlasted it.

9. “Pac-Man Fever”/Buckner & Garcia (up from 11). If you don’t remember “Pac-Man Fever,” don’t worry—you’ll remember the first five seconds, at least. It was one of the last fad-inspired novelties to make the Top 10 to date, but B&G’s other claims to fame are arguably just as interesting: They wrote and performed “Merry Christmas from the NFL” under the names Willis “the Guard” and Vigorish, and they wrote and produced the country glurge-fest “Footprints in the Sand” recorded by Edgel Groves, both in 1980.

22. “Take Off”/Bob and Doug McKenzie (up from 26). I can’t help it . . . the McKenzie Brothers’ Great White North schtick still cracks me up. This video, made by a YouTube contributor and featuring salutes to every Canadian province and territory, is the one the McKenzies should have made in 1982. It’s brilliant.

35. “Nobody Said It Was Easy”/LeRoux (up from 40). For a band that defined itself (and still does) by its Southern and especially by its Cajun roots, and was once known as Louisiana’s LeRoux, this was a completely generic adult-contemporary ballad. Still, it was the biggest chart hit they ever had, although their “New Orleans Ladies” was voted Song of the Century by a New Orleans newspaper a few years back. Lately, the band has been backing bluesman Tab Benoit.

47. “Baby Makes Her Blue Jeans Talk”/Dr. Hook (up from 58). I yield to no one in depth of appreciation for the female form, and the woman extensively featured here is a fine specimen, but “Baby Makes Her Blue Jeans Talk” is not merely a creepy metaphor, it’s a creepy performance. If somebody who looks as serial-killerish as Ray Sawyer does in the video were following me, I wouldn’t be smiling, and the stiff beat does not befit Dr. Hook well at all.

Coming over the weekend or early next week: one more record from this week in 1982, and how it came to rock Dubuque, but few other places. Coming Monday: St. Patrick’s Day.